The Blue vampire cafe and Karaoke club
by OrpheumZero
Summary: Episode 8 is up! Insanity, weirdness and sporks abound! Come on in and enjoy a performace featuring the song from DMC 3 and many guest appearances.
1. Episode 1: Opening night Adema plays

Legacy of Kain: Café and Karaoke Shack.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the songs featured in this fic, nor the web cartoon "College University". Also this fiction is gonna be somewhat of a series, in later episodes it will have some drama, and Moebius bashing, and maybe romance, and insanity, and Moebius bashing, and lots of humor, did I mention Moebius bashing?  
  
Me: Hello and welcome to my, sixth fiction, wow, and it hasn't even been a year yet. I'm good. I decided to do some song fics. The first couple will be songs that I feel kinda relate to the Legacy of Kain games, not entirely but kinda. Well here goes.  
  
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Today's song: "Immortal" by Adema.  
  
In the last couple of months we've seen a Dating agency appear, three movie productions *each currently having technicalities* and some various insanity. *Explosions can be heard and you can insert some of your own ideas of what noises would occur* Plus we have, or at least once had, a Karaoke club, but some body burned it downed. *An incriminating Photo of Moebius appears, holding a kerosene jug and lighter near corner of club, apparently shocked to have been caught, and the words: 'Kill on sight' flash on it* So now we proudly introduced: *Trumpet fare* "The Blue vampire Café and Karaoke Club"  
  
***  
  
(We see several Humans, Vampires, Hylden, Demons, Authors and Authoresess *Though the denizens of Nosgoth consider them to be even worse than demons, including the demons themselves.* Waiting at the entrance of the club. I am standing at the large double doors with the cliché giant scissors.)  
  
Orpheum (Me): I will now cut the ceremonial ribbon, thus officially opening this club.  
  
(I cut the ribbon and everyone claps. I then bow and enter. Moebius is then seen standing at the entrance with that velvet rope and is sadly *and quite poorly* dressed as a bouncer, apparently thinking dark sunglasses and a gold bracelet and a black shirt reading: 'Security' makes him look tough.)  
  
Faustus, Marcus and Sebastion: *walk up*  
  
Moebius: *Sad attempt at being a tough bouncer* U got ID?  
  
Faustus, Marcus and Sebastion: *Flash ID and enter*  
  
(We then see Jedi-And and his Final Fantasy friends come up, Moebius with out much hesitance let's the FF characters in, considering that Cloud, Squall, Sephiroth, Seymour and the bad dudes are carrying their weapons, but he stops Jedi.)  
  
Moebius: ID please.  
  
Jedi: *Waving hand* You do not need to see my Identification.  
  
Moebius: ID please.  
  
Jedi: You do not need to see my Identification.  
  
Moebius: ID please.  
  
Jedi: You do not need to see my Identification.  
  
Moebius: Look this is last time I'm gonna ask, ID please.  
  
(Jedi gives a lightly annoyed stare and just waves his hand a few times. We cut to Concept of a demon and MortalK55 at the end of the line holding looking at ID cards.)  
  
Concept: You these ID will work?  
  
Mortal: Yeah, Fallen's a pro.  
  
Concept: I'm not sure, mine doesn't really look like me.  
  
(We see a picture of Bush on the ID which name reads: Concept Age: 21  
  
Mortal: Well mine has a mustache to help make me look more mature.  
  
(We see his is just a picture of Mario with his name next to it.)  
  
Concept: Well it looks like were up. *Puts on a Bush mask*  
  
Mortal: Okay, act cool. *Has a fake mustache and a cheap red hat that almost looks like Mario's*  
  
(We then go back to Jedi and Moebius.)  
  
Moebius: Look, I'll ask one more time. ID please.  
  
Jedi: Oh, ah let me see.if I .have MY ID!  
  
(Pulls out a light saber and slices Moebius' left arm off. People scream. Moebius, apparently more intent on being tough than caring about his decapitated arm, just stares at Jedi with an impatient look.)  
  
Moebius: ..ID please.  
  
Jedi: Look I don't have damn bloody ID!  
  
Random vampire: Screw this!  
  
Random human: Gang up on Moebius!  
  
Moebius: Oh crap.  
  
(Is ganged up on. Everybody then proceeds to enter on their own accord.)  
  
Concept and Mortal: *Look at each and shrug, and just step over a beaten Moebius and enter*  
  
(The inside is a very cool looking place, well lit and very roomy, people are either sitting at a table and chattering or drinking at the bar. Music is playing.  
  
Light: *Is talking with Angel-chan* .And then he ran into a portal and vanished.  
  
Angel-chan: How long did it take to get Sephy out?  
  
Light: Luckily I swiped his Masamund while he wasn't looking and coaxed him back out.  
  
Kiddies: *Running around raising hell like usual*  
  
(Soon I step onto the stage as the music fades, everybody claps.)  
  
Orpheum: Welcome, welcome to the first night of the 'Blue Vampire café and Karaoke club' tonight's first show is a performance of Adema's 'Immortal', a very cool song if I might add. Now without further ado, Raziel and the lieutenants! *Claps for them*  
  
(Everyone cheers and claps even some whistle, the vampire raise their ales and cheer, the lights dim.)  
  
*Immortal opening beat plays, if you don't know the song, its a little guitar solo, try looking up an mp3*  
  
(We see Raziel in a spotlight with his head facing down, he has got on a black shirt and blue jeans, mostly the usual clothing of a rock band artist.)  
  
Raziel: *Does that little groan and nods head about*..LET'S FIGHT!!!  
  
*Guitars solo becomes more audible as the stage lights up and we see Rahab on drums, Turel on guitar, Dumah in back as back- up vocals, Zephon and Melchiah are wearing similar cloths like Raziel, as are Dumah and Turel and Rahab. Zephon and Melchiah are just doing some cool dance moves. Lights are dancing about to make the effect really cool.)  
  
*The beat tones down a bit*  
  
(Kain walks on; wearing the same cloths he keeps silent and plays along.)  
  
Raziel: We're face to face (He and Kain stare at each other with stern gazes.) Loyalty is what I need to see from you *Dumah in lowly audible voice repeats 'from you'* You're insecure I can see the fear that breeds in your heart Where will you run? Where will you hide? I the blood drip from your eyes Who will survive? Let's get it on And we'll fight!  
  
*Chorus* I know who you are The leader of lost souls You can't kill me I'm Immortal I'm not afraid to die My soul will travel on You can't kill me I'm immortal Immortal Immortal Immortal!  
  
I need the rush There's nowhere you could hide before you diiiiiie Why won't you face me? I can see the fear that's in you eeeeeeyyyyyeeeess! (Raziel and Kain act like their staring each other down.) Where will you run? Where will you hide? I see the blood drip from your eyes Who will survive? Let's get it on And we'll fight!  
  
*Chorus* I know who you are The leader of lost souls You can't kill me I'm immortal I'm not afraid to die My soul will travel on You can't kill me I'm immortal!!!  
  
*Little solo plays and that groan repeats* Where will run? Where will you hide? Where will run? Where will you hide? Let's fight!!!  
  
*Chorus, in even greater depth* I know who you are The leader of lost souls You can't kill me I'm Immortal I'm not afraid to die My soul will travel on You can't kill me I'm immortal!!!  
  
(We then see Moebius tied to a pole.) You can't kill me Immortal! You can't kill me Immortal! You can't kill me Immortal! You can't kill me (As the guitar stop everyone cheers, just as Moebius is set on fire at the same moment as the song stopped.)  
  
Raziel: Thank you, thank you!  
  
(He and Kain and the lieutenants' bow, as fan girls' scream and others clap. I then step onto the stage Raziel and the other leave, dragging a burned Moebius with them.)  
  
Orpheum: Thank, that 'Immortal by Adema. Tune in next time for a Linkin' Park song!  
  
(The lights on the stage dim as I walk off stage and everyone continues to chat and have fun, some people try to sing their favorite song but it doesn't go well.)  
  
Orpheum: See you next time!  
  
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Me: Well, what do you think, I thought the song kinda relates to Raziel's inability to die. After the Linkin' Park song, I will take your suggestions of a song, you may even choose who sings, it could even be you. Also the ID bit was a scene from a cartoon called "College University". Has anybody ever seen that, it's quite funny, if you haven't type this in: www.collegeuniv.com  
  
Please review and I will let you each have a turn at the super - jumbo-sized speaker with Moebius next to it.  
  
(I gesture to Moebius tied to a chair next to a giant speaker.)  
  
See ya!  
  
(I yell this into the microphone and Moebius is blasted by several watts of sound.) 


	2. Episode 2: Linkin' Park plays

Blue Vampire café and Karaoke club - Episode 2  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs featured, nor the LoK or other random characters whom appear.  
  
Me: Wow, It's nice to know that my fics are beloved, THANK YOU ALL! :) Well tonight's song is yet another I chose, and then I'll take a few suggestions until I figure another song to place. Plus I'll give credit to who ever suggest a song, and I will try to put everyone's selected song on.  
  
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Tonight's song is: "In the End" by Linkin' Park  
  
(We are outside, we see that 'Duncan', that jerk from BO2 who you in without the exact password, is tonight's bouncer.)  
  
Umah: *To Ariel* Oh no, Duncan's at the door, we'll never get in, he's such an ID Nazi.  
  
(We go back to Duncan at the door.)  
  
Duncan: *To everyone* Next, have your ID ready, can't get in with out a picture ID.  
  
(Janos walks up and shows ID.)  
  
Duncan: *Reads it* Says here you were born about 2000 years ago *A/N: Since the games never really have set a year. * Is that correct.  
  
Janos: It sure is.  
  
Duncan: Nice try, I'm gonna have to confiscate this fake ID, next!  
  
Janos: Hey that's my flying license.  
  
Duncan: Come on, move it along.  
  
Janos: *Gives an evil glare and storms off*  
  
(Fallen Templer steps up.)  
  
Duncan: ID please.  
  
Fallen: No, but I'll have your eyes on a toothpick if you don't move it!  
  
Duncan: *Sweating* Ugh, you can pass. *Runs off into club to hide*  
  
Fallen: Hehehehe always works.  
  
(Everyone piles in.)  
  
Umah: Never mind.  
  
(The club interior is the same as usual, except Vorador is on stage with a spotlight on him, Seinfield theme plays.)  
  
Vorador: Have you ever noticed how the original Sarafan were different from the new ones? Like why are the ones of the new one bald and the original weren't? "Oh, were gonna go bald, maybe our shine tops will frighten the vampires."  
  
(People laugh; we see a few old and new Sarafan laughing.)  
  
Old Sarafan: HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
New Sarafan: He's saying what we're all thinking!  
  
(Vorador bows and then I step up.)  
  
Orpheum: That was Vorador, people. Now onto tonight's song, Linkin' Park's single "In the End". We have Kain on lead vocals and Raziel as back up, Dumah and Turel on guitar, Rahab on drums and Zephon and Melchiah once again bustin' some cool moves. And now, Kain and the lieutenants! *Claps and steps off stage*  
  
(The stage darkens and we see Kain, in similar cloths to Chester, the lead singer standing still and keeping silent, Raziel is then illuminated next to him with a spot light, he is dressed to look almost look that other dude that sing the verses of the songs.)  
  
Kain: It starts with  
  
Raziel: One thing I don't why It doesn't matter how hard you try Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to remind myself To explain in due time *Kain sings along this line* All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly it by as the pendulum swing Watch it count down to the end of day The clock ticks life away *With Kain* It's so unreal Didn't look out below Watch the time go right out the window Trying to hold on But you didn't even know I wasted it all Just to watch you *With Kain, who vocalizes this* go I kept everything inside And even though I tried It all fell apart What it meant to me Will eventually be a memory of a time When  
  
Kain: I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter  
  
Raziel: One thing *repeats* I don't know why It doesn't even how hard you try Keep that mind I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I *With Kain* Tried so hard In spite of the way you mocking me Acting like I was part of your property Remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised it *With Kain* Got so far Things aren't the way they were before You wouldn't even recognize me anymore Not that you knew me back then But it all comes back to me *With Kain, who vocalizes 'end'* In the end I kept everything inside And even though I tried It all fell apart What it meant to me Will eventually be a memory of time When  
  
Kain: I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter  
  
Kain: I put my trust In you Pushed as far as I can go For all this There's only one thing you should know I put my trust In you Pushed as far as I can go For all this There's only one thing you should know  
  
Kain: I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter  
  
*The music comes to a close as the spotlights on Kain and the lieutenants' fade. Everyone breaks into cheers and whistles. The regular lights come on and Kain and his sons bow. *  
  
Kain/Raz/possible lieutenants' fangirls: WE LOVE YOU!  
  
Orpheum: Raise the shield!  
  
(The crazed fangirls scream with glee and jump into the air to glomp the vampires, but bounce off of a red shield made of energy.)  
  
Orpheum: More power!  
  
Human (with Scottish accent): I givin' all she's got!  
  
Orpheum: Well see you tomorrow night people, when we take the first of what I'm sure to be many request. Good night!  
  
(I then usher Kain and Raziel and the other lieutenants out the back.)  
  
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Me: Well how was it? Just tell me what song you want, who wrote it and maybe if you could, tell me of a good link to find the lyrics. Yet again I used that bit from College University, has anyone ever seen that web cartoon?  
  
Please review and I will let you all pound my bouncer, Moebius.  
  
Moebius: WHAT!?!  
  
(Is suddenly surrounded by several authors and authoresess, each holding a pointy object.)  
  
See you! 


	3. Episode 3: Metallica plays

The Blue Vampire Café and Karaoke Club - Episode 3  
  
Disclaimer: I don't any you, whom will make small appearances in this episode, Tonight's song or any other stuff that happens, I do own my self, my really cool name, this club and my socks, try and take them. *The nasty FBI or whom ever it is that take away stuff you have copied illegally run at the mention of my socks*  
  
Me: I'm so happy to see that this fiction is popular. Well here's is tonight's first request song. Concept of a Demon - Metallica's "Hero of the Day". Also to Concept, there is no age limit, I just seem to have a bit of a bad choice in whose the bouncer.  
  
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(Well, after we cleaned up the mess from the fangirls of Kain, Raziel and the lieutenants. We open tonight with Duncan as the bouncer once again; people seem to like him more than Moebius. He is outside of the door.)  
  
Duncan: Get your ID ready, you need it to get in.  
  
Janos: *Walks up with Vorador behind him* Hello.  
  
Duncan: Look, I told you, you need a real ID to get in.  
  
Vorador: This him?  
  
Janos: Yes, my child, NOW SICK 'IM!  
  
(Vorador then tackles Duncan and we can only see Janos grinning as Duncan screams and we see 'bits' of him fly everywhere, after a while, Vorador gets back up, with mouth covered in blood.)  
  
Janos: Thank you my son.  
  
Vorador: Any time.  
  
(They enter; the other people outside take a glance at what's left of Duncan.)  
  
MortalSora: Hmmm looks like I won't be need this tonight.  
  
(Throws the Bush mask aside.)  
  
Ratface: O.o Eww. Oh well, he had it coming.  
  
(He steps over the remains and enters. Others outside shrug and then enter. We see Light on stage, having just finished telling a good joke that even had the Kiddies as visual aids.)  
  
Audience: *Applaud*  
  
Light: *Bows*  
  
Kiddies: *Are a bit shy of being on stage, but wave to everyone*  
  
Audience: Awww.^__^  
  
Sephiroth: *Somewhere up front* Boo! You stink!  
  
Light: I love you too Sephy! ^________^  
  
(She jumps off the stage and glomps Sephiroth, who tried to run, but is then piled on by Kiddies.)  
  
Kiddies: Unka Sephy! ^__________________^  
  
Sephiroth: Ack! *Wheeze* Need *Cough* Air! @__@  
  
Light and Kiddies: ^_______________________________^  
  
(I step onto the stage still clapping for Light's small skit and then take the Mic.)  
  
Orpheum: That was Light people. Tonight we are playing the first of what I'm sure, will be many song requests; tonight's winner is Concept of a Demon! *I clap for him*  
  
(Spotlight shines on Concept, who is somewhere around the middle of the room, he waves to everyone.)  
  
Orpheum: Plus, since your birthday was just recently, here's a small gift.  
  
(I pull out and toss a Gold chainsaw with some really crude, yet sharp and menacing blades.)  
  
Concept: YAY! ^__^  
  
Orpheum: Now onto tonight's song, we have Kain, singing Metallica's "Hero of the Day"!  
  
(I clap as I back off stage, and the curtain rises, we see Kain standing alone, with a sole spotlight on him. We then see Raziel and the Lieutenants in the background who are playing whatever instruments are involved while been slightly illuminated by a pale blue light, Kain rises his head starts to sing as the song begins.)  
  
Kain: The window burns to light the way back home A light that warms no matter where they go They're off to find the hero of the day But what if they should fall by someone's wicked way  
  
Still the window burns Time so slowly turns And someone there is sighing Keepers of the flames Do you feel your name? Did you hear your babies crying? Mama they try and break me Still they try and break me  
  
Excuse me while I tell them how to feel These things we turn to me that still seem real Now deservingly this easy chair But the rocking starts the wheels of this play  
  
Don't want your hate But the fist I make For you still no fear No not on me So please excuse me while I tell them how I feel  
  
But now the dreams end And now the dreams end They everlast the night So build a wall Behind it crawl And hide until it's light So can you hear your babies crying now?  
  
Still the window burns Time so slowly turns And someone there is sighing Keepers of the flames Did you hear your name? Did you hear your babies crying?  
  
But now the dreams end And now the dreams end They everlast the night So build a wall Behind it crawl And hide until it's light  
  
So can't you hear your babies crying now?  
  
Oh they try and break me Oh they try and break me Oh they try and break me Oh they try Oh they try Oh they try and break me Oh they try and break me Oh they try and break me  
  
Oh they try Oh they try  
  
(Kain then lowers his head as everyone cheers, Raziel and Lieutenants step forward to bow.)  
  
Angel-Chan: *Jumps onto stage with that collar Light gave her in hands* Razzy! ^_____^  
  
Raziel: Oh no, every time you show up, something monumental and terrible happens.  
  
Angel-Chan: Uh, I LOVE YOU RAZIEL! ^__________^ *She glomps him*  
  
(We the see the spotlight on Concept again.)  
  
Concept: Thanks, Orpheum.  
  
Orpheum: *Coming back on stage* No problem.  
  
(We then see Concept gets a crazed look on his face, he starts up his new chain saw.)  
  
Concept: Oh Moeby!  
  
Moebius: *Lounging at a table with other guardians* Oh, dear god no!  
  
(Concept charges toward Moebius, screaming wildly while swinging the chainsaw menacingly, Moebius runs like heck, screaming like a little girl as he does so.)  
  
Deionarra: *In audience* Rahab! *Cheers and whistles, then starts to drool a river*  
  
(We then see Jedi-And and his Final Fantasy characters hanging about at a large table, they are done clapping and then again notice Sephiroth's condition with Light.)  
  
Jedi: Poor Sephy, must be tough having such crazed fan-girls.  
  
Cloud: *Crying with anime waterfall tears* That should be me! I'm the star of the game and he gets all the fame! V__V  
  
(We then see Popeland at the bar, he has been drinking his fare bit.)  
  
Popeland: *Drunk* HUZZAH! *Hic* That was *Hic* a good show! *Hic*  
  
(He then passes out and we see sock puppet Popeland next to him.)  
  
Sock puppet Popeland: Now I will have my revenge, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Cough, wheeze, hack* HAHAHA!  
  
Ruff Collie: *at other end of bar, chatting with VladimirsAngel and Sarryn.)  
  
Ruff Collie: So I attacked with the pen of doom and it did nothing.  
  
VladimirsAngel: Did you try the eraser of doom?  
  
Ruff Collie: No, but I'll try that.  
  
Sarryn: Here, try this. *Pulls out an ordinary eraser, or is it?*  
  
(We then see Fallen Templer in another corner with some children, apparently teaching them how to use a toothpick as a weapon.)  
  
Fallen: So what we learned?  
  
Children: That toothpicks are God's secret weapons.  
  
Fallen: Exactly! ^__^  
  
(We shift to see Ratface with his buddy, Voodoo child at a table.)  
  
Voodoo Child: thanks again for inviting me to the battle.  
  
Ratface: We probably would've lost if not for you.  
  
(At a table in one corner we see Vampyre and The Shadow Dragon.)  
  
Shadow Dragon: Poor Moebius knew it was a bad idea to give Concept a chainsaw.  
  
Vampyre: Oh well, besides, it's only Moebius.  
  
Shadow Dragon: True.  
  
(We go back to the bar and see Dark-Sephy ordering ale.)  
  
Dark-Sephy: Dang-it where's my ale?!?  
  
Bartender: I think you may've had enough.  
  
Dark-Sephy: I tell you when I had enough!  
  
(We then see Sephiroth-02-01 chatting with ElementalAngel a section of long tables.)  
  
Seph0201: Well there I am, with Malek about to shock me, I'm 'Oh no, not agai- BZZZZT'. I was in the hospital for a month.  
  
Elemental: Hmm, You should try and see if you can get Popeland to help with that problem.  
  
(We go back to Light, who is now talking with Sileriss.)  
  
Silveriss: Man, is able to breathe under there?  
  
(We see the Kiddies are asleep on top of Sephiroth, who is barely seen under the small vampires.)  
  
Light: Oh, Sephy will be just fine.  
  
(Venris steps on stage and tries to tell a joke.)  
  
Venris: I once knew a man from Nantucket.  
  
Audience: Yeah, and?  
  
Venris: Let's just say the rumors about him are not what they seem.  
  
(We see Seul Desir chatting with Saji Kun.)  
  
Seul: Man this is one great club.  
  
Saji: Tell me about it.  
  
(Raziella D.Reaver is chatting with BathedinInsanity, who is tearing apart a Moebius through it's mid-section.)  
  
Raziellla: You sure do love hurting Moebius there, don't you?  
  
Bathed: Of course! ^__^  
  
(We then see Fanatical-Chick step on stage.)  
  
Fanatical: Who here hates Moebius?  
  
(Everyone raises hands.)  
  
Moebius: V__V No body loves me.  
  
Concept: Get over here!  
  
(Moebius screams like a girl and resumes running.)  
  
(We see Kail87, laughing as Moebius rushes by.)  
  
Kail87: GO GET 'EM CONCEPT!  
  
(Losturel is there too.)  
  
Losturel: SHOW HIM US AUTHORS MEAN BUSSINESS!  
  
(I then step onto the stage.)  
  
Orpheum: Well, it's getting late and it's almost time to close up. But come back next night for yet another pre- selected song.  
  
(I clapped as lights dim and everyone continues with their conversations.)  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
Me: Wow, bet you didn't expect to see so many people, huh? They are many of the people who once reviewed me, and now I hope will review again.  
  
Next song is one I just thought of doing, we'll do Michael Jackson's "Thriller", but I don't know whether to have Kain or Raziel or maybe Mortanius sing. Tell me what you think.  
  
Please review and I will give you each a job here, meaning no more ID checks.  
  
(Looks over at Duncan's remains.)  
  
Me: I might even have an opening for Bouncer too. :)  
  
See ya! 


	4. Episode 4: Michael Jackson plays

The Blue Vampire Café and Karaoke Club - Episode 4  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs featured in this fic.  
  
Me: Thanks for all the reviews, I love you all! Know without anymore interruption, the next chapter.  
  
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(We the Nemesis, dressed in black bouncer T-shirt, standing by the door, he has ripped at least thirty people to shreds. I poke my head through the door.)  
  
Orpheum: Uh, Nemy, your supposed to let people in, not destroy them.  
  
Nemesis: Oh, sorry.  
  
(He then let's in some people. We then go into the club, there's a small 'Watch your step' sign where Concept had disemboweled Moebius, who was revived a few days after and is now backstage with the other Guardians, apparently doing something.)  
  
Concept: *Behind bar* What'll ya have?  
  
Raziel: Bloodlite, please (Parody of Budlite).  
  
Dumah: Make mine a Bloodweiser (Parody of Budweiser).  
  
Turel: I'll just a have HardMatt's bloodenade (Parody of Hard Mikes').  
  
Concept: Comin' right up!  
  
(We then see Jedi-and, who has just finished doing his impersonation of Bush and Blair.)  
  
Jedi-and: *Twitching nervously* So, uh, goodnight folks!  
  
(He hops off stage and then chased by military extremist, who chase him into the new balcony level of building, where a huge explosion is then heard. I walk upstage and take the Mic in hand.)  
  
Orpheum: Jedi-and people, well, we've got a special treat for you, tonight, the Guardians', lead by Mortanius, or as the were once called, The NINES, will perform Michael Jackson's: Thriller! Let's hear it for them!  
  
(People applaud loudly and the lights dim. That music that plays in the video plays and we Ariel, highlighted by a spotlight, pretending to be chased around by Hash, also highlighted. She bumps into figure not highlighted by a light until she gasps, it's Mortanius and he's got a blank look on his face, he is dressed with a red jacket and blue jeans. Then the intro theme plays and he starts that head jerking thing and the stage flares to life, the other guardians are behind him, Ariel floats behind and they all start to move the same way the zombies did in the music video.)  
  
Mortanius: It's close to midnight and something  
  
Evil's lurking in the dark  
  
Under the moonlight you see a sight  
  
That almost stops your heart  
  
You try to scream but terror  
  
Takes the sound before you make it  
  
You start to freeze as horror  
  
Looks you right between the eyes  
  
You're paralyzed  
  
(He then summons some zombie back-up dancers.)  
  
All Guardians (-Zombies): Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
  
And no one's gonna save you  
  
From the beast about to strike  
  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
  
You're fighting for your life  
  
Inside a killer, thriller tonight  
  
Mortanius: You hear the door slam and realize  
  
There's nowhere left to run  
  
You feel the cold hand and wonder  
  
If you'll ever see the sun  
  
You close your eyes and hope  
  
That this is just imagination  
  
But all the while you hear  
  
The creature creepin' up behind  
  
You're out of time  
  
Guardians: Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
  
There ain't no second chance  
  
Against the thing with forty eyes  
  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
  
You're fighting for  
  
Your life inside a killer  
  
thriller tonight  
  
Mortanius: *With high-voice like Michael does when he sings it.) Night creatures call and the dead  
  
Start to walk in their masquerade  
  
There's no escapin' the jaws  
  
Of the alien this time  
  
They're open wide  
  
This is the end of your life  
  
They're out to get you,  
  
There's demons closing in on every side (Moebius screams like a girl, which echoes like in the song.)  
  
They will possess you unless  
  
You change the number on your dial  
  
Now is the time for you and I  
  
To cuddle close together  
  
All thru the night I'll save you  
  
From the terrors on the screen  
  
I'll make you see  
  
Guardians: That it's a thriller, thriller night  
  
Mortanius:  
  
Cause I can thrill you more  
  
Than any ghost would dare to try  
  
Girl.  
  
Guardians: This is thriller, thriller night  
  
Mortanius:  
  
So let me hold you tight  
  
And share a killer, diller, chiller  
  
Thriller here tonight  
  
Mortanius: *With a foreboding voice* Darkness falls across the land  
  
The midnite hour is close at hand  
  
Creatures crawl in search of blood  
  
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood  
  
And whosoever shall be found  
  
Without the soul for getting down  
  
Must stand and face the hounds of hell  
  
And rot inside a corpse's shell  
  
The foulest stench is in the air  
  
The funk of forty thousand years  
  
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb  
  
Are closing in to seal your doom  
  
And though you fight to stay alive  
  
Your body starts to shiver  
  
For no mere mortal can resist  
  
The evil of the thriller  
  
(He then does a long maniacal laugh with deep echo.)  
  
Audience: *Loud, long applauds and cheers*  
  
(The Guardians' bow and then the zombies do too. Mortanius feels something pinch him; he looks behind and sees Moebius trying to touch his ass. Mortanius motions to the zombies and they begin to rip Moebius apart, but no one seems to notice, much less really care.)  
  
Moebius: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! MOMMY! HELP!  
  
(Is buried under pile of flesh-eating zombies.)  
  
Orpheum: The NINES people, let's hear it for them again!  
  
(I clap and whistle a little and then everyone else does too.)  
  
Moebius: AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! MY SPLEEN!!!  
  
(We then see the Jumanji board at a table, it has a martini at its side.)  
  
Jumanji board: Then that albino bastard field goals me, luckily I landed in the lake of fluffiness, but now I have an urge to be nice to people.  
  
T-Man/Chaos: Hmm, maybe if we team-up, with your ability to make stupid, yet dangerous things happen, and my insane and Digidestined poisoned mind, WE CAN RULE THE WORLD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Jumanji board: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
(We then cut to the bar table. Raziel, Turel and Dumah all have their faces on the counter, groaning, apparently sick from the alcohol.)  
  
Concept: Whoops, Hehehe.  
  
(We then go back to the stage, the zombies stand up and reveal the skeletal remains of Moebius, they all seem to moaning, in sick way, not the usual zombie way.)  
  
Zombie 1: Ugh! That was not the best person I've eaten. *Gags and runs into the men's room to barf. *  
  
Zombie: 2 - 6: You said it. *Suddenly they all die.again*  
  
(I walk up on stage and bring Moebius back to life, and then chuck him off stage, where he unfortunately lands at the table of A.W.H.M (Authors/authoresess Who Hate Moebius.)  
  
Otaku: GET HIM!  
  
Light: BASH 'IS EYES OUT!  
  
Fallen: EAT FLAMING DEATH!  
  
(They swarm over him and his screams are muffled. Suddenly from another one of the balconies, there is an explosion and a washer and dryer fly from it and crash onto the stage, I jump out of the way with ease and look on with confusion, as do many people seated by stage.)  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Washer: *In a karate stance, plus bad voice over like in those old movies* We finish it here, Dryer!  
  
Dryer: *also in stance and with bad voice over* And it will be I, the Dryer, who shall be victorious.  
  
Washer: Prepare to diiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!  
  
(They jump into the air and begin DBZ style fight, including silly parodies of moves.)  
  
Washer: Soapy-ma-ha-ma-ha-SOAP! *Does an energy attack made of suds*  
  
Audience: *As if watching a light show* Oh! Ah!  
  
Dryer: *Slightly dented* FINAL SPIN!  
  
(A giant energy spiny thing blasts from its hands and hits Washer, who flies through wall behind it, they continue battling outside until they have moved far from the Club's area.)  
  
Me and everyone else: O.o;  
  
Orpheum: Well, I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show. Tune in next night for when Ariel does her own one solo song. GOOD NIGHT!  
  
(I walk off stage and everyone claps and then continues on with talking, mauling Moebius, drinking, blowing up random stuff, hurting Moebius, eating cheese, concocting world domination plans and did I mention beating the hell out of Moebius?)  
  
************************************************************************  
  
So, how was it? Please tell me soon! I have a request, I'd like everyone to find and read my other, non-LoK stories, one is in the Silent Hill category as Silent Hill: Restless parody and another one is in the Grand Theft Auto section, named: Vice Life. Please read and review them.  
  
Please review and I will give you all a free ten minute pass for a chance at singing or a free ten minute session with Moebius in my new ROOM OF DOOM, which is being completed as we speak.  
  
See ya! 


	5. Episode 5: Barry Manilow plays A song ab...

The Blue Vampire Café and Karaoke Club – Episode 5  
  
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own jack squat. I do by chance own that new version of PS2 with the network adapter included. I also don't own tonight's featured song, but I do own a character that shall be making an appearance at the end of this chapter.  
  
Me: Hello and thanks as always for the comedic and funny reviews, I truly appreciate them. Tonight's episode will have a slight cliffhanger; it will be a bit serious, I decided to do this so people don't think I mis- categorized the fiction. I have also decided on placing a second song in this chapter, it's one of my favorites, I found it on Newgrounds, I'm sure some of you may enjoy it.  
  
On with the fic!  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
(We see everyone filing into the club as usual, though the Nemesis seems a bit down, this is due to the fact I have taken away his weapons, this is for the reason of him constantly killing anyone that got near the club.)  
  
Orpheum: And remember that if you hurt one person, I'll reveal these photos of you.  
  
Nemesis: I'll be good.  
  
(We then see everybody watching with joy as the usual comedy act ends and then we see that Dante has been put in place of Concept, who is at the moment sitting at a table with book on bartending.)  
  
Concept: Oh, so you're supposed to mix that first and then add this. *He then continues to mumble about how to mix drinks*  
  
(Kain and the other lieutenants are at the bar table, they all seem to be drunk off their asses. Kain mumble something to his boys and they all stumble onto the stage. Kain tells something to Rahab, who then leans over the edge of the stage and request to me, something.)  
  
Rahab: *Mumbles a little incoherently*  
  
Orpheum: Oh, ok sure.  
  
(I walk away to the music station where all the music is played from, I adjust some dials and soon the regular songs that play are replaced by silence. Kain and the lieutenants get into place and then prepare to sing, they even have beers in hand. The opening part of 'Carmen' starts to rise in sound.)  
  
Kain: *Lieutents sing the 'Beer' part* Oh... what is the malted liquor? What gets you drunken quicker? What comes in bottles or in cans? Beer! Can't get enough of it Beer! How we really love it Beer) Makes me think I'm a man (Beer) I could kiss and hug it (Beer) But I'd rather chug it (Beer) Got my belly up to here (Beer) I could not refuse a (Beer) I could really use a beer, beer, beer  
  
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer  
  
Raziel: I can't remember how much I have had I drank a twelve-pack with my dad (BURP!)  
  
Kain: That's my son the drunken manly stud I'm proud to be his bud  
  
Raziel: *sings this as he pulls a bowl of pretzels from his cowl* Here have some pretzels  
  
Kain: No, I'll call it quits Those things give me the shlits (ha ha ha)  
  
Kain and the lieutenants: Drink with your family Drink it with your friends Drink till your fat, stomach distends Beer is liquid bread, it's good for you We like to drink till we spew!  
  
(At this Dumah turns around and pukes, Kain and the others are repulsed by this.) Eww!  
  
Kain and the other lieutenants: Who cares if we get fat?  
  
Kain: I'll drink to that  
  
Kain and the lieutenants: As we sing once more...  
  
Kain: *As before* What is the malted liquor? What gets you drunken quicker? What comes in bottles or in cans? (Beer) Can't get enough of it (Beer) How we really love it (Beer) Makes me think I'm a man (Beer) I could kiss and hug it (Beer) But I'd rather chug it (Beer) Got my belly up to here (Beer) Golly, I adore it! (Beer)  
  
Kain: Come on dammit, pour it! Do it for me, brew it for me Feed it to me, speed it to me (Beer)  
  
Kain and the lieutenants: The most wonderful drink in the world HOORAY!!! (BURP!)  
  
(They all fall off stage and they are filed off to a table and are given some aspirins  
  
Orpheum: That, was an, interesting performance. Now without further ado, Ariel's personally chosen song. Take it away, Ariel!  
  
(The lights dim and Ariel floats on stage, a single spotlight lands on her, and a soft theme begins to fill the room. Everyone listens with rapt attention, even Kain and his boys, who have now recovered a little from their drunken stupor.)  
  
Ariel: Midnight  
  
Not a sound from the pavement  
  
Has the moon lost her memory  
  
She is smiling alone  
  
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet  
  
And the wind begins to moan  
  
Memory  
  
All alone in the moonlight  
  
I can smile at the old days  
  
It was beautiful then  
  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was  
  
Let the memory live again  
  
Daylight  
  
I must wait for the sunrise  
  
I must think of a new life  
  
And I mustn't give in  
  
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too  
  
And the new day will begin  
  
Burnt out ends of smokey days  
  
The stale cold smell of morning  
  
The streetlamp dies  
  
Another night is over  
  
Another day is dawning  
  
Touch me  
  
It's so easy to leave me  
  
All alone with the memory  
  
Of my day in the sun  
  
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is  
  
Look a new day has begun  
  
Memory  
  
All alone in the moonlight  
  
I can smile at the old days  
  
It was beautiful then  
  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was  
  
Let the memory live again  
  
(The music fades and the lights return to normal. Everyone is in tears, including the vampires.)  
  
Vampires: *With tear streaming down faces* SO BEAUTIFUL! *Realize that the tears burn* AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!!  
  
(They fall to the floor and writhe in pain and are still sulking at the touching song.)  
  
Orpheum: That was Ariel, people, let's hear it for her!  
  
(Everyone claps and then goes on with chatting and such. A cleaning crew is seen leaving the Room of Doom, which was being scrubbed clean after an explosion that killed no one important. Moebius was revived a few hours after all of him was scooped up.)  
  
Moebius: Thanks, I was just about to be maimed by an angry specter.  
  
Orpheum: No problem. Now back in you go!  
  
Moebius: NO!  
  
(I toss him into the room once more. A few more hours go by and in that time we see the return of the super powered washer and dryer, who were almost manipulated by Popeland's evil sockpuppet, but they rejected him after he proposed by a cheaper washer detergent and dryer sheets.)  
  
Popeland sockpuppet: Damn! And I was so close.  
  
Popeland: That's it! It's the sock drawer for you!  
  
Popeland sockpuppet: NOOO!  
  
(After that has happened, the doors of the club entrance are blown open by a small explosion, smoke fills the area by it.)  
  
Orpheum: No insurance people, lawyers and mimes allowed!  
  
(A figure steps out from the smoke, he has a grey cloak, and the hood is drawn so it casts a small shadow over his face. He surveys the room and his gaze comes to rest directly at me. My eyes quiver in fear and my mouth hangs open, letting out a few gasps of surprise. I know this man.)  
  
Orpheum: *In a low fear-filled whisper* Orpheus…  
  
Orpheus: Brother…  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Me: So how was that? Was that a good cliffhanger or what?  
  
Please review and I will give you all a nice little role in the next chapter; it may be a long one this time.  
  
See ya! 


	6. Episode 6: Linkin Park and the fight of ...

Blue Vampire café and Karaoke club – Episode six  
  
I don't own LoK or Linkin' Park or anything featured except my character and the one I fight.  
  
(Dave Chappelle appears and takes a Mic out.)  
  
Dave: He's back, bitches.  
  
(He then vanishes and I step through a curtain.)  
  
Me: I'm back, had some computer issues, but that's all better now. Now onto my fic.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
(A man who looks similar to me is standing in the doorway.)  
  
Orpheus: Hello, brother.  
  
Orpheum: What are you doing here, Orpheus?  
  
Orpheus: I've come to kill you, dear brother.  
  
Moebius: *Stumbles out of 'Room of Doom' and grabs Orpheus' robes* Oh please, help me! I don't want to be in that room anymore!  
  
Orpheus: \_/ DIE!  
  
(He grabs Moebius by the neck, throws him into the air and slices him in half.)  
  
Orpheus: Refuse to confront me and that will befall more of your friends.  
  
Orpheum: Uh, actually, Moebius was an asshole, it's actually a good thing when someone kills him.  
  
Orpheus: O_o; That's it, DIE!  
  
(He flies at me and tackles me into the wall, which collapses on both of us. He busts through and then hovers above the rubble.)  
  
Orpheus: COME OUT AND FACE ME, BROTHER!  
  
(An energy blast bursts through the rubble and strikes Orpheus, he screams and is sent flying through the roof and into the sky. I climb out the rubble; my left cheek dirtied like that effect in animes. Kain helps me over to the stage and Raziel looks around, confused.)  
  
Kain: Who the hell was that?  
  
Raziel: He looked just like you.  
  
Orpheum: My little brother, he's hated me for becoming good and abandoning our people destructive way of life.  
  
Popeland: Need help? *Pulls out giant spiked biscuit*  
  
Orpheum: O.o; No, but thanks. *Suddenly jolts with a realization of something* Everyone, clear yourselves to the ends of the room.  
  
(I look around, bumping into Raziel.)  
  
Orpheum: Aren't you going to move to safety?  
  
Raziel: Naw, I'll be fine.  
  
(Suddenly and energy blast strikes through the roof and knocks me away and disintegrates Raziel.)  
  
Raziel: ASSHOLE! (Drama queen)  
  
Orpheum: DAMMIT! *Looks up* COME DOWN AND FACE ME, YOU COWARD!  
  
(Suddenly Orpheus nosedives from the sky and tackles me into the ground and into the basement, I jump out so does he, both of us are on opposite sides of the hole.)  
  
Orpheum: Why can't you just leave me alone, I'll never be like our kind!  
  
Orpheus: And that, is why you must DIE!  
  
(Fires a kinetic blast at me, I brush away while facing down like in those animes. I then glare at him, a force blast flies through the air and strikes him into the arch of the stage.)  
  
Orpheus: DAMN YOU!  
  
(Fires rapid energy attacks at me; I'm hit and caught in an explosion. I fly out through the smoke and punch him into the sound station. The theme of Linkin' Park's "Numb" begins to play.)  
  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be *I punch Orpheus into the balcony seats*  
  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface *I fire a barrage of energy spikes*  
  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
  
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes  
  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
  
*Orpheus flies at me and we collide*  
  
[Chorus:]  
  
I've become so numb *We tried several punches*  
  
I can't feel you there *Orpheus punches me across the face hard*  
  
Become so tired, so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you *I'm punched into the hole in the stage*  
  
Can't you see that you're smothering me? *I float out, glowing with power*  
  
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control  
  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
Has fallen apart, right in front of you  
  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) * I draw my sword, which becomes a long katana, Orpheus draws his, a katana too*  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)  
  
An' every second I waste is more than I can take  
  
*We flies towards one another*  
  
[Chorus: Repeat]  
  
*We slash and try to connect a blow, but we're both equally matched in skill*  
  
And I know *I bring my blade upward to slash*  
  
I may end up failing too *Orpheus brings his downward*  
  
But I know  
  
You were just like me *Our blades clash, sending sparks through the air*  
  
With someone disappointed in you  
  
*Orpheus' blade breaks, my blow connects, I then unleash a flurry of slashes*  
  
[Chorus: Repeat]  
  
I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there *I then bring my sword downward, then blast him with energy* Orpheus: NOOOOOOOO! *Disappears in the blast* I'm tired of being what you want me to be (x2)  
  
*I then float down and sheath my sword as the music ends*  
  
Orpheum: *Out of breath* Man, that was tough.  
  
Popeland: *Looks at the spiked biscuit* And I really wanted to use this, too.  
  
Concept: You ok?  
  
Orpheum: Yeah, I'll be ok.  
  
Kain: Is he dead?  
  
Orpheum: No, I could feel him warp in the last second, but he won't be bothering anyone for a while. Because I altered the path of his teleportation, he should be arriving in a very terrifying place right about now.  
  
**Elsewhere**  
  
(Orpheus is lying on the ground, badly beaten.)  
  
Orpheus: Damn him! I'll get my revenge yet.  
  
(He gets up and looks around.)  
  
Orpheus: Where the hell am I?  
  
(Sephiroth runs by.)  
  
Sephiroth: AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Orpheus: What the - ?  
  
(Six small figures run up to him.)  
  
Orpheus: O.O; What in the hell?!?  
  
The Kiddies: Unky Orpheum! (  
  
Orpheus: I am Orpheus, brother of Orpheum!  
  
Kiddies: Unky Orpheus! (  
  
(They swarm over him.)  
  
Orpheus: AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
**Back at the club**  
  
Orpheum: There we go, now, this place needs some cleaning up.  
  
(I look around and find Jak and Daxter *Jak II* at the bar.)  
  
Daxter: So, what do you have that's good to drink?  
  
Concept: I think this is safe to try. *Places a glass of smoking wine on the counter*  
  
Daxter: Um, actually, I just have a glass of water.  
  
Jak: Ditto.  
  
(I grab Daxter by the tail.)  
  
Daxter: Hey, jackass! Hands off! *Tries to fight*  
  
Orpheum: How'd you like to earn some money?  
  
Daxter: Money you say? *Stops flailing*  
  
Orpheum: Get cleaning!  
  
(I drop him down and toss him a bucket and a mop.)  
  
Daxter: Ah, crap!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Me: So, how'd you all like it? I hope to get everything back to normal soon.  
  
Please review! See ya! 


	7. Episode 7: Change the world and random c...

**The Blue Vampire Café and Karaoke club.**

Tonight's song: Change the World (English version)

Disclaimer - All rights to song belong to V6, I don't own the song nor am responsible for the English version, which is sung by Max Alto. Also, I don't own InuYasha or its related characters.

Me: Hello again my friends, after a long and annoying sit with bad computers and my new machines lack of a floppy drive(I wish to save every fiction, in case of trouble and possible loss on site) and have recently gotten a Thumb Drive, now I'll be able to return to writing my stories, hopefully I'll finish the SR2 and BO2 fanfics and start a Defiance one.

Anyway, on with the show. Bows

(As usual everyone heads into the joint, the new body guard, temporary, (Nemmy's been out of action since Orpheus blew him up with the door) InuYasha, and Miroku, let people in, Miroku lets all the women in (Like that wasn't unforseen), while InuYasha tends to threaten more than enough people, though it's not all bad, he did castrate Moebius who tried to enter, looks like everything going fine.)

Orpheum: So I picked up a can of gas and threw at them and shot it and blew them up.

Light: Cool, what else you do in Half-Life 2?

Orpheum: Half-Life 2? I was talking about the rabid pack of lawyers that came after me.

Light: Oo

Orpheum: How are the kiddies?

Light: Fine

Meanwhile 

Kiddies:

Naraku: NOOOOOOOOO!

Is pounced by kiddies

Back at the café 

Popeland: I'm telling ya, "Return of the biscuit" totally blew away "The Chimp monks strike back".

MortalSora: And I'm telling you episode 2: "Attack of the muffins" Beat them all!

Popeland: HAVE AT YOU!

MortalSora: HAVE AT YOU, TOO!

(Popeland summon sockpuppet Popeland)

Popeland: Meet sockpuppet popeland version 2.0, with radioactive sporks!

MortalSora: OH yeah!

(Summon Mecha Shippo)

Mecha Shippo: MEGA FOXFIRE!

SockPuppetPopeland: Oo Oh bugger...

KABOOM

Elsewhere 

Raziel: What the f!

Kain: What?

Raziel: Somebody chew up my Janos Audren action figure, with new kung fu grip, only the arse part is left.

Kain: Who'd do a thing like that?

???: I would!

Raziel and Kain: HOLY CRAP! IT'S!

Papa Smurf: Me!

Raziel: Bastard

Papa Smurf: Bring it on, bitch!

(The two get into a fight, cartoonish fight cloud appears)

Raziel: Iron Reaver Soul stealer!

InuYasha: Hey, that's my attack!

Raziel: Pike off!

InuYasha: OH YEAH! Pulls out Tetsuiga

Raziel: Oh...

Papa Smurf: crap!

InuYasha: WIND SCAR!!!

(The two blue freaks are both obliterated)

Orpheum: Oo, that was, odd...Anyway, I now presents tonights show. I'll be singing this time.

(Lights dim, and a spotlight on me, music slowly builds up)

I Want To Change The World  
Keep on holding on your desire  
You will get that shining love  
That you can't wait to know  
If you go on to get your goal  
It's Wonderland!

(I slowly walk around stage)

I felt so worried when I spout out the time  
Thinking of the future it lies  
Cause I knew that there's nothin'  
That I really want to know  
And then I met you  
So I could feel what you should know  
I finally find a love  
And now I'm really feeling her right  
Cause the matter is gone  
This is the way to love you

(I turn my back for a second then turn around quickly)

I Want To Change The World  
Walk again, never miss the way  
Don't be afraid I'm with you  
And we could fly away  
If you could stay with me forever  
Change My Mind  
Won't get lost if your passion's true  
I'm gonna fly with you again  
So you could spread your wings  
And you will fly with me away  
It's Wonderland!

Every single thing  
The time and the flyin'  
Til the day, I won't let you go  
You will see that your desire will be granted again  
It's just the feeling  
You understand the travel life  
It won't be to bad to face  
And then it probably you will see will not be to heart  
If we could walk beside you

(I warp to random spots on stage, strob lights come on)

I Want To Change The World  
Walk again, Fire against the wind  
Don't be afraid to be true  
Cause now you have to bring  
The power of your smile in your face  
Change my Mind  
Keep on holding on your desire  
You will get that shining love  
That you can't wait to know  
If you go on to get your goal  
It's Wonderland!

(I bow my head, a screen appears behind and play a montage of scenes from InuYasha)

I Want To Change The World  
Walk again, never miss the way  
Don't be afraid I'm with you  
Now we can fly awayIf you could stay with me forever  
Change My Mind  
Won't get lost if your passion's true  
I'm gonna fly with you again  
So you could spread your wings  
And you will fly away with me away  
It's Wonderland!

(I then throw the mic up and catch, then return to stand, everyone cheers and then I gesture for them to silence.)

Orpheum: Tonight I have another treat, a special faketrailer of my own original writing, I want to show all my friends a story I've worked on, it's not done yet, but this is a teaser till it's eventual publishing.

(Lights dim, and screen scrolls down, then an epic music score plays)

Voice: In a world full of wonder...

Montage of landscape

A hero's journey begins

The main character is shown looking stern

He's joined by many

I appear, only really more mysterious like, a wizard, three male warrior and a woman stand by main character

They quest for legendary keys...

Flash of a dozen magic keys fly by

To return an Ancient power to the world

Quick flash of a heroic figure with white hair and shining silver armor

And stop and an evil force from returning

A dark figure is shown

Will they succeed?

Several scenes are shown, arrows flying, massive armies colliding, clash of my character and dark figures, one the heros appearing to fall, and many other exciting scenes, then music build to climax

Legend of the 13 Keys...

Coming soon whenever the writer gets off his ass to do so Me: HEY, I heard that, BITCH!

(Lights come on, people express usual face of 'that sounds neat')

Light: Good job, can't wait to -

Miroku: Grabs Lights hand Will you bear my children?

By the bar 

Sango: That jerk is at it again! 

Kagome: Don't worry, I think he's about to get his answer soon.

That's all for now I'll leave the monk to you, Light

BTW the way, Popeland, what happened to your Soul Reaver 2 parody, it's gone.

Crap ripoff of Cowboy Bebop end line

Till next time, fanfic person.


	8. Episode 8: Devils, Gravity guns and insa...

1Legacy of Kain: Café and Karaoke Club - Episode 8

Disclaimer - The usual drill, I don't own LoK or the songs or the hidden nuclear weapons.

**Me**: Another chapter, finally, I hope to get to another for my Soul Reaver 2 and Blood Omen 2 fics on with the chapter!

* * *

_Tonights song_: **_Devils Never Cry_** from Devil May Cry3: Dante's Awakening, by **Fischenspooner**.

(Outside, old Nemmy's back, patched up after Orpheus' little explosive entrance. He's as usual, being a twit with who comes in.)

**Nemesis**: Name and ID, please.

**Gordon Freeman**:...

**Nemesis**: Sir, I need your name and ID.

**Gordon**:...

**Nemmy**: Look, I won't ask again, NAME AND ID!

**Gordon**: Pulls out Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator **a.k.a: The Gravity Gun** and blows Nemmy away.

**Everyone else in line**: With cheesy high voice all together Yay!

(They all enter, things are as usual, people at the bar, drinking, chatting at the tables, Concept's side of the bar exploding, an annual mob going after Moebius, Kain and Vorador surrounded by women, pretty normal.)

**Concept**: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

(A martini randomly explodes.)

**Umah**: Was it supposed to do that?

**Concept**: Let me check out my book fingers through pages OH! Your 'not' supposed to put liquid nitrogen in there, silly me.

**Umah**: O.o0 I'll just have some blood.

**Concept**: Coming right up, now where'd I put the mixer?

Meanwhile -

(Dumah, Zephon and Turel are playing cards.)

**Zephon**: Go fish!

**Dumah**: Royally pissed For the last time, it's not F#$# GO FISH! IT'S BLACK JACK!

**Zephon**: King me! Lays down a good hand

**Turel**: Damn, I'm out, I'll wait till next game.

Suddenly -

**Moebius**: DEAR ELDER GOD, HELP ME!

(Runs past as Jedi-And, Ruff Collie, Deionarra and Fallen chase him with various objects, including a spatula, a spork, some tooth picks, and a bottle of Axe?)

**Zephon**: You guys hear something?

**Turel **and** Dumah**: Honestly Nope.

(At the love shack the small den for parties Kain and Vorador are surrounded by many women, Miroku is with them.)

**Kain**: You really are great with the ladies, monk.

**Miroku**: Please, you showed me a few good pointers as well.

**Vorador**: I want you to have my children. Smiles, add cheesy gleam in teeth.

**Random woman**: Really? But isn't impossible for you to have any?

**Vorador**: True, but who said we can't try?

(They all laugh, meanwhile in the balcony's across the from the den, Sango has Popeland readying a sniper riffle, with 'special' ammo.)

**Sango**: Will this really work?

**Popeland**: Yeah, or it could kill him, would that be a problem?

**Sango**: Not really.

(I step onto the stage.)

**Orpheum**: Ladies and gentlemen, and vampires, and demons, and head crabs. Tonight is gonna be a special presentation, Dante and his bro Virgil have agreed to perform the song, they will not sing, but will merely act out a fight while the song plays. And now, **Dante** and **Virgil**!

(I bow and the two half-demons approach the stage, they nod to one another and take to one side of the stage each, the lights dim.)

A sort of chorus starts ups, after a few minutes it fades into a soft rock beat

Deep voice:

Steal a soul for a second chance

But you will never become a man

My chosen Torture makes me stronger

In a life that craves the hunger

(Dante and Virgil circle each other, slowly.)

A freedom and quest for life

Until the end the judgement night

A heavier beat starts up

(The two charge at one another.)

Stepping forth a cure for a soul's demise

(They clash, blades spark and scrape.)

Reap the tears of the victim's cries

Yearning more to hear the suffer (of a)

Of a demon as I put it under

(An awesome spectacle of sword clashing)

Killed before a time to kill them all

Passed down the righteous law

Serve a justice that dwells in me

Lifeless corpse as far as the eye can see

The eye can see (X3)

Soft voice:

We are falling

(The two brothers go Devil Trigger and use more powerful versions of their usual attacks.)

The light is calling

Tears inside me

Calm me down

(Dante does Aerial Rave on Virgil.)

Bless me with the

Leaf off of the tree

On it I see

The freedom reign

(Virgil does that insane million orb attack.)

Soft voice in Italics & Demonic in Bold

**The powers proven to end the madness**

**-**_We are falling_

**Upon I take it to end the savage**

_-The light is calling_

(Dante uses his great agility to avoid.)

**The rays of light a truth of meaning**

_-Tears inside me_

**To my father the blood is pleading**

_-Calm me down_

(The two go in a rapid series of clashes, creating a vortex of power.)

**A justice rage for all to feel**

_-Bless me with the_

**With innocent cries and hatred squeals**

_-Pure green leaf_

**The gore of evil seems to satisfy**

_-On it I see_

**When Slain an maimed and pacified **

_-The freedom reign_

(The two brake the clash and leap back, and run toward one another.)

**My chosen torture makes me stronger**

_-Bless me with the _

**In a life that craves the hunger**

_-Leaf off of the _

**A freedom and a quest for life**

_-On it I see_

**Until the end the judgement night**

_-The freedom reign_

**Watch the footsteps but never follow**

_-Praise to my father_

**If you want to live tomorrow**

_-Blessed by the water_

**Steel a soul for a second chance**

_-Black night, dark sky_

**But you will never become a man**

_-The Devil's cry!_

(The two clash and the force of colliding power shatters and cracks the floor around them.)

The music fades out

(The two bow and nod to each other again and then return to their own seats. I come up on stage.)

**Orpheum**: Give 'em a hand people!

(Everyone applauds, even Moebius whose being strung up by the neck from the balcony.)

**Orpheum**: Enjoy the evening everyone.

(Things go about again, nothing odd, Moebius escaped, Kain and Vorador try to wake up Miroku whose been knocked unconscious by Popeland's bullet.)

**Light**: Deal me.

(Dumah hands her a new hand.)

**Zephon**: I want to buy Baltic Avenue.

**Dumah**: That's it!

(Tackles Zephon, the two wrestle about. Gordon suddenly bumps into Moebius.)

**Moebius**: Oh please, you have got to help me, they're all gonna kill me!

**Gordon**:...

**Moebius**: Please! I'm begging you!

**Gordon**: Pull out the Gravity Gun

**Moebius**: EPP...

(Gordon leads everyone on a chase after Moebius, who is flailing and screaming, Concept joins in just as he's finished a new drink which seems to be glowing and chanting we all chase Moebius through the club into the late hours.)

End for now.

* * *

**Me**: Well, what'd ya'll think? You like? I hope so, please read and review and I'll give you all a free hour with either Dante or Virgil, or get both to mutilate Moebius.

By the way though, why didn't anyone review my new chapter in Soul Reaver 2? That makes me sad, and when I get sad, I get mad pulls out katana and starts slicing Moebius Please, when ever you guys have time, please review that as well.

See you all next time!


End file.
